idk what to think rn

tw sa

hi so this conversation happened a couple hours ago. but my bf was talking about football and the draft and stuff and how one of the players that got drafted was accused of raping his gf, apparently they were having consensual vaginal sex and he then forcefully put it in the backdoor. i just kind of side eyed him because...hes done the same thing to me. hes put it in the wrong place before even though i begged him not to. he really likes anal but i dont. weve done it a couple times consensually but i just dont like it and he knows this. ive been thinking about it a lot lately and its really hard to understand that it was definitely rape. but i told him "you've done that before." and he said "its not the same. he did it violently." as if how violent it is matters to whether or not it was rape? idk it just feels like he doesnt care or doesnt care to understand that what he did was wrong and that its affected me. idk i just needed to vent i guess.