I was supposed to be a wife, but my abusive ex ruined everything.

My life has turned into one of the nightmares that I used to have. After being together for 6 1/2 years, my girlfriend steadily became more and more abusive. The signs were always there, and I had assumed that things would change. For a while, they did and I thought we’d live happily ever after. Turns out she was just distracted.

She didn’t care about me. She cared about what I offered her. What I took care of for her. What she could use me for. She didn’t cheat on me, but she did emotionally abuse me. She would neglect me. She would storm off and isolate herself for hours. Yell at me. Swear at me. Lie to me.

The worst part is, I miss what we had. We had plans to get married and we shared so many interests. I miss the little fun moments, like making snowmen on the roof of our parking garage. Cuddling. Talking about our future, our wedding. Stuff like that.

I’m glad that I broke up with her, but it feels like she forced me into it. She was treating me so poorly, and she was the one who gave up on couples counseling. She was the one who ignored promises we made.

Still, I feel like I was supposed to be a wife right now. We promised each other we’d be there for each other always. She lied, and I don’t know why I was surprised. But, I meant what I said. That’s what makes all of this worse.

I am so, so broken and alone. She’s going on dates. I wish her the best, but right now, I want to crawl into a hole and die. It’s been 7 months and I’m still recovering. Our anniversary is this month. I need a hug.