I’m in need of advice

(Hey yall so to preface I’m 15m attending college classes so despite what you may think I’m not a rowdy teen mad at the world) Before I was born my parents split up they were young dumb kids my mother barely 18 and my father barely 20 and my mother saw how much of a bad person my father was so she brought me into this world without a father figure growing up I would rarely see my father but when I would it would be long periods and you may be thinking “okay what’s so bad about that” my father would brutally beat me until I bled out of my eyes mouth etc and since he had me for prolonged times by the time he brought me back to my mother my wounds were healed this went one for many years until my early teen years where it got worse he would get so intoxicated and high off anything he could he would be a shell a husk that was demented on ended my (his own sons) life at whatever cost but he wanted me to pleasure him if yk what I mean before he killed me so obviously I ran as fast as I could out of his apartment I spent the rest of that night sleeping on a park bench I was around 12-13 at the time and that morning I got my mother to pick me up at the park and that’s the last I’ve seen of my father but not forgetting the past I made an attempt to end my own life because of what he had put me through and now that the court case is drawing its conclusion the courts are telling me that there is not much they can do and I need a male to ask this question am I justified in feeling angry or depressed and does my father deserve prison time? Because the law says otherwise