Struggle with both logical and selfish thoughts to have an abortion

I (31f) just found out I was pregnant, completely unplanned and a complete accident. My husband (29m) and I have had an indepth discussion about terminating the pregnancy and the possibility of keeping the pregnancy. We have two children currently, so (3f) and 1(m). We have ultimately decided to terminate due to financial reasons, the state of our country, my own career trajectory as well as getting my body back. I had a really difficult time PP with my son. I am still selfish though and a small part of me wants this pregnancy to continue. We are scheduled to go to planned parenthood on May 13. And I guess the point of this post is to just put my thoughts out and see if anyone has any recommendations for books or podcasts I can listen to to help. Because I know this is going to be difficult Thanks for reading