Need advice, you can judge but I have grown so much since the decisions and consequences

Hello I am a soon to be 38F raising an 8F, who has two dads. I was in a very difficult time in my life at the time of conception and kinda thought the person I fcked my marriage up with trapped me so to speak. Literally a day after having her we found out she had Sickle cell c trait, his family isn’t a carrier so I automatically knew it was the person I had been dealing with however we were always careful by using protection. Well I can confirm that condoms aren’t 100 proof lol anyway fast forward her bio dad is kinda in her life but since he’s on child support he feels he doesn’t have to necessarily get her which is crazy because with his other kids he’s a stand up father even to the ones that aren’t his. Ironically I talk to this daily thru text and calls so it’s not like he is completely out of the picture. Lately I have been complaining and communicating that she is acting out of normal self and I have already asked personal questions where she is very positive no one is touching her(I am a survivor of child m…. and Grape as well) so when I became like that, that was the reason but when she isn’t in my presence she’s with the dad that’s not biological hers, and I know for a fact he doesn’t get down like that because he over protective of her almost to the point where I hate I am even asking for advice on the matter. But her biological dad says I need to put a stop to their relationship because she will eventually turn on us since we are more of the disciplinarians, mostly me tho cause he will call and get on her or wait til he has all of other kids and want to get her to feel like he’s dad of the year. Should I respect his wishes and break a bond that has been building since before she was born? He was a lousy boyfriend but he is a stand up dad and this is only and doesn’t even want to think of having another one unless I decided to have one which is a very low chance with what I have going with her and my elderly mom. So I am one and over lol Tia hope I covered any possible questions.