Anyone else experience this?

Okay so I’m still pre everything and mostly closeted. but looking back to even before I knew I was trans I found myself gravitated to girls more than guys. like I remember being disappointed as a kid if I was partnered with a guy instead of a girl at school or smth. I always just assumed that this was because I wanted a girlfriend or smth. I’m still not sure tho. And I also noticed that I feel more comfortable around girls. Like I find it way easier to open up and be myself with them. And I prefer coming out to them because it feels better when they accept me I guess. Like I can still be friends with guys but I always feel like I’m faking my interactions with them and not being myself I guess. And I don’t feel comfortable being trans around guys really. Or telling them my preferred name and pronouns. But with girls I’m fine with it. Idk why. And this is another thing. but I remember as a kid being really against feminine stuff. Like I remember being self conscious that I’m sitting, walking, or acting in a feminine way. And I would avoid stuff that were feminine. But I also still felt drawn to it? Like it felt like i was trying to prove my masculinity. I’m sure a lot of the girls here have similar experiences. I’m curious to hear who here relates to this. And how their experience was like.

PS sry this is poorly formatted it’s a Reddit post I don’t feel like writing this in MLA format lol