I have been pushed out of my close friend group and I'm reaching a breaking point.

I (23 F) worked at a shop for 2 years and whilst there I became close friends with all of my co-workers, including the store manager (31 F who we'll call G) who I had worked with for 6 months prior at a different store before we moved to this new store and met everyone else.

There were less than 8 of us who worked there and we became a close knit group outside of work. Besides a couple of close friends outside of this group, they were the people I hung out with on a regular basis. We had a non-work group chat, went on nights out together etc. G even asked all of us to be a part of their wedding party, which is set to take place next year. They were some of my closest friends.

At the end of January, I was dismissed from the job due to a compliment towards one of the people (19 F who we'll call M) in this work/friend group on shop floor being taken as an insult (we're both autistic), which turned into a grievance hearing, which then turned into a disciplinary hearing because apparently there were other concerns about my performance and conduct. To me this came out of nowhere and my dismissal was very messy, stressful, and at the time threw my life into complete chaos. However, I made a conscious choice to not let it impact my friendships or personal opinions on people outside of that situation, especially towards G who sacked me because we were genuinely good friends outside of work, and I didn't want to lose anyone just because I was let go. I understood that it was just business.

I didn't know this at the time, but G did not think the same way about the situation, and took everything I said in my defence statement during my disciplinary (in which I was accused of ableism and being a threat to the mental wellbeing of my colleagues) very personally, stating to other people in the group how hurt they were and they felt like they had lost a friend in me because they had done "so much to help me" in the 2 years I worked there. Basically they felt betrayed. I was promptly removed from the non-work group chat by G, the reason for this being cited as "sometimes work is spoken about in there" and "it wouldn't be professional" if I were still in it. The old assistant manager was in this chat as well but they were removed alongside me.

I knew I probably wouldn't see any of them for a bit due to what had happened, and I wanted to give G and M space whilst also processing what had happened myself. However, I didn't realise how G truly felt about it all until around 3 weeks after I was let go when three of our friends were performing at a music night at local bar, and I'd said I'd go to support them because I missed the first one. G then messaged me privately and said I should've considered that other people (i.e them and M) might not be comfortable with me going and that I should've checked with them first. Honestly, I thought that was ridiculous and it confused me because a.) it was a public place, b.) those performing were my friends too, and c.) as far as I was aware this separation was only temporary. I told G that I was happy to keep my distance from them if that's what they really wanted, but I did stand my ground and say that I was still going. Ultimately, G and M ended up not going to this event because I was there, something I didn't agree with because everyone deserves to have a good night, you know? And also because the night was about supporting mutual friends, not about whatever happened at a place of work where I was no longer employed.

Besides M (who I had no ill will towards at all despite everything) and G, everyone else in the group was fine with me, and one of them even expressed shock that I had been let go. But that text exchange revealed that G didn't want anything to do with me, they didn't want to speak to me, look at me, and they unfollowed me on everything.

Ever since then, I have hardly seen or spoken to those in the group who are still my friends. We've had some conversations over text and I met up with two of them fairly recently, but despite that I have pretty much been left behind. Messages go unread for days, they hardly reach out to me on their own accord, and it's currently taken about a week to try and arrange to meet up with one of them because they just aren't opening the texts (I still don't have a set day for that meet-up either).

Yesterday it was one of their birthday's, but because G and M were going and they don't like me, I wasn't invited, and the whole situation is just starting to really upset and frustrate me. It's hard to see my remaining friends from this group not only hang out with each other, but hang out with other friends too on socials when it takes them 5 business days to reply to me, even when I'm actively trying to make plans with them.

I appreciate that we have busy lives but at the risk of sounding self-important, I'm not just "another friend" to these guys. Again, we were so close for 2 whole years and we spoke and hung out all the time, but ever since I stopped working at the shop it's all just suddenly stopped, and I can't say with any confidence that I know what's going on in any of their lives right now, and I know they can't say the same for me.

They have expressed sadness for the situation and they have been supportive in some ways, lamenting how close we all once were, but I'm just not feeling like they mean it 100% because at the end of the day, they're all still hanging out as a group, the only difference is is that I'm not there. They even hang out without G and M there.

And yeah, it kind of pisses me off that they seem to be prioritising G's feelings at my expense by saying they're not "picking sides", but continue to leave me out of group events, like birthday celebrations where realistically, people should put aside their differences to celebrate whoever's birthday it is.

I know this is a completely subjective opinion, but I really feel that what G did to me after they sacked me (i.e. cutting me out of the group) was unfair, and above all else it was cruel. Losing my job like that messed me up, and in the time that followed, I needed support from friends the most, and yet G turned their back on me because they're incapable of separating work from personal. I wanted to leave all of the work stuff behind and continue to be friends, and I have never held the fact that G fired me against them because I understand it was just work, or at least that's what I thought it was. Being sacked doesn't hurt me, the way I was treated by G after I was sacked does.

It also hurts that it was not my decision to be separate from this group, G made that choice for me, and for a while I gave my friends the benefit of the doubt by thinking that they probably just didn't want anyone to be uncomfortable. But as time has gone on, none of the others have really said anything to stick up for me, and I continue to watch as they celebrate each other's birthday's through Instagram stories. I even said that we should do something for this friend's birthday together so I could still be part of the celebration but there were crickets.

I just can't tell if my feelings about all of this are valid or if I'm being ridiculous and selfish. I also fear that if I speak to my friend's about how I feel, I'll be branded as inconsiderate or something like that. I just don't know what to do anymore.