AITAH for not coming to see my partners dying family member?

For some background I’ve only met this person a few times, it’s more distant family. We recently got a call that it was time to say goodbye. Right before leaving I asked if anyone knew I was coming, which led to them saying I don't have to go. I insisted on going for them, but they kept saying its okay because I “didn't want to”. I feel like I should have gone. But also, if it was the other way around I wouldn't expect to take someone to such an intimate family event. Either way, they keep saying its okay but I do feel like an asshole.