mental illness is hell

the way in which it so swiftly and neatly manages to ruin absolutely everything is incredible. can't go outside, can't make friends, can't get a job, can't have a single guaranteed good day. you can wake up and everything is bad just because. or worse, you're having a good day and then the most minor, insignificant thing happens and then you're ready to explode the sun

over 2 decades straight of living with my awful brain and still i can barely control it. medication doesn't help and POVERTY doesn't help, nothing helps. it's like what am i even supposed to do? lay down and get eugenics'd?

i want off this ride