In honor of May the 4th, Star Wars Day, here are my Star Wars/Sopranos counterparts.

This actually took a lot of thought. Something akin to the Family Guy specials. Tony being our main character is our Luke Skywalker. Old Man Bacala is Old Man Kenobi. Uncle Junior is Yoda. Phil Leotardo is Darth Vader, and Johnny Sack is The Emperor. Phil’s kid brother Billy is Grand Moff Tarkin who gets killed when the first Death Star explodes. Phil watches from a TIE fighter in horror.

Imagine Tony’s shock when he finds out Phil is his father. And somehow, Johnny Sack returned.

Naturally, Princess Leia being Luke’s sister is Janice. Making Bobby Han Solo. And Bobby Jr (III) later ends up as Kylo Ren. Finn in the sequels is Finn. His arch nemesis, Captain Phasma, is Vito. Meadow is Rey.

Obviously Jabba the Hutt has to be Ginny Sack. Adriana is the dancer who gets eaten by the Rancor. Big Pussy is a Gamorrean Guard. Boba Fett is Furio. The Sarlacc Pit is him being unceremoniously written off in S4. Chewbacca is Aaron Arkaway. C-3PO and R2-D2 are Silvio and Paulie. Lando is Harold from Many Saints. The Cantina Band is Visiting Day.

Looking at the prequels, we follow Anakin, a young Phil before 20 years in the can turned him into Vader. Kid Anakin/Phil in Phantom Menace is played by AJ.

Padme being Luke’s or Tony’s mom is Livia. We also get to see the fucking terminator in his prime as Obi-Wan. And a young Junior as Yoda in his fighting age. And Johnny Sack as Palpatine before the lung cancer disfigured him.

Richie Aprile is Darth Maul. Qui-Gon Jinn is Beansie pre-wheelchair. Watto with that long nose of his has to be Christopher. Artie being the comic relief is Jar Jar Binks. “MEESA GET NONSTOP ASS-RAPE!”

Count Dooku is Feech La Manna. Carmela is Ahsoka. Ralph in the closest thing to a gladiator is General Grievous. Mace Windu is Massive Genius. Patsy, Tony B, etc. are the various Jedi.

At the end of the prequels, having sent Phil to prison for 20 years, Old Man Bacala delivers Baby Tony and Baby Janice to safety. Taking Tony to his Uncle Hugh and Aunt Mary. And dropping Janice off in Seattle.