Thought I had it all, turns out I have nothing.

Partner (M35) and I were going strong for a few years. We were planning getting married, buying a house (lol). he revealed to me today he’s considering breaking up with me. I’m (30) in school to pursue my dream job and am finally working again. New job forgot to pay me on payday. Friends have stopped talking to me and I’m having obsessive thoughts. I keep going back to the days a few years ago with my old job, my old coworkers, and my new relationship. None of it’s coming back. I have bipolar 1, obsessive compulsive tendencies, PTSD, and ADD. I am trans. This country fucking hates me and I even hate myself sometimes. I’ve been thinking about how at peace I would be when I die and how I’d no longer be in pain or my life be in constant chaos. My partner, his son, my friends, and the world deserve better.