My situation

Had a crush on this boy (mom’s friend’s son) but called him brother back then, I was 3 or 4yrs old since he’s a year older than me. Back then our school didn’t allow boys to talk to girls and vice versa plus when I was in 4th grade it was so uncool to talk to boys and they did the same. When he came along the hallways and ruffled my hair and said hi not once but twice i kept quiet and just stared at him. After years when i was in 10th grade and he was in 11th I realised i have a crush on him. (No contact, cause I knew him by a different name and his official name is different) I even tried finding his name by asking another person his name but no use.. But we haven’t spoken in years. Then 5-6 years Later: I’ve gotten busy with college, now I can’t stop thinking about him all of a sudden(been like this for the past 7 months i think) and what ifs, I should have said a hi that day, and my mom saying he’s a lovely affectionate boy doesn’t help at all…

Now, his mom is in contact with my mom like before in the past few months (i think it syncs with the time I’ve stated thinking about him) ( they used to be colleagues now in separate places)

We went on a trip mom’s few other friends and me, he has a sister but I haven’t seen her. I TOLD aunty that I though I’ll see her in this trip since I’ve never seen her. She invited me to come to her place while i was leaving, (this is the second time) and she said this to my mom in phone that I’m more important than my mom (maybe in a funny way) and her daughter wants to see me too… he lives in another country and she told him about me in vc and he asked if I’ve grown up this much!

I can’t even talk about this to anyone.. So any thoughts on this? What’s even happening? I think he’s coming home in 2-3 months!!