I can't lie anymore to myself just to feel better.

Throwaway... I am just a 27 y.o. guy and I am very, very pessimistic. I can't trust anyone after I tried to do it one last time when a person I knew insisted that I had to trust her and then she ruined my life. She wasn't even a friend, she was a stalker: I discovered that she wanted only to laugh about me with her friends (She didn't like me nor did I, she was just a stalker in my city who found my phone number from my past fake friends).

As a little note, I don't trust anyone but it doesn't mean I am cold. I am always polite and honest, it's just that fear backstabbing.

I don't leave my house anymore. Of course I don't have any friends both irl/online, no relationships etc., I don't talk to anyone anymore out of fear... And no, I have never had a true friend and the ones I had thought only about themselves and they never listen to me, I existed only because I like to help other people, and then they threw me away.

I don't believe in reincarnation, but if it really exists I wish it was possible to keep only the memories the dreams and ideas I wanted to realize, I don't want to waste them.

Thank you very much if you read till the end. I really mean it. It would mean that someone has finally listened to me so thank you again.