AITAH for taking space to evaluate the long-term viability of my relationship? My GF’s friends have gotten involved to say I’m a cruel, mean person.

We’ve been dating for two months. We’re also currently in LDR, which means the substantive things we do together include spending 3-4 nights together every two weeks or so when I travel 4 hours to her city. Outside of that, we talk on the phone together from 9:30-10PM till whenever I get to sleep 5-6 nights a week.

I’m studying to be a lawyer and in the middle of finals. It’s been pretty rough. At the beginning of April, she told me that she was feeling like a low-priority and neglected. She also, in general, has severe hypochondria and anxiety that requires near constant reassurance that has slowly surfacing over the past two months. I started to make more of an effort to talk on the phone. I work 12-13 hours a day, more now before finals bc I am supporting myself on top of school.

Certain little red flags culminated last week when she texted my sister after finding her number online. They’ve never met or spoken before, and she asked whether or not I had died, because I hadn’t texted in 12 hours (12am-12pm). I had a stress migraine, which I tried to sleep off. She also contacted the two friends of mine that she has met before. She then told me that this unavailability triggered many little insecurities. Apparently, every time my “Find My” location doesn’t immediately update, her mind assumes I am cheating, among other things, including me not texting her hour-by-hour updates while she is at work, so she can read them.

When all of this came out for the first time all at once, I tried to honestly and gracefully take a step back. I told her that these kinds of insecurities can’t fester and go unsaid in a relationship and they’re indicative that I’m not available enough, or fully meeting her needs. I am now very aware of the fact that I’m not in a place to support this relationship or at best that I need to step it up. I question whether I’m in a place to support any romantic relationship. I said this to her in the most kind, honest way that I can. I truly don’t want to drag her through a cruel relationship with someone who is emotionally unavailable. She wants to try. I’m worried that I will ruin both of our mental states trying. I love her and I don’t want to try if it will ultimately hurt her more. I feel I’ve become the biggest trigger of her anxiety and a relationship shouldn’t be this difficult this soon. Flat out.

I took a day or two to consider these things without being emotional or overly upset. I don’t want to rashly end things or give into pressure that isn’t true to my feelings.

Since we’ve had that conversation, her friends have contacted me to tell me what a cruel, mean person I’ve been to her by taking space to finish out my school year and think clearly. It’s been two days. I have no problem with people venting to their friends about relationships but I really don’t appreciate the “peanut gallery” all contacting me and harassing me, along with my gf sending me their condemning texts as evidence I’ve been a severe asshole. It’s honestly been pretty stressful as I try to finish school. AITAH?