24 and still scared of men

I want a boyfriend but i'm scared of men

I've never been in a relationship but i'm scared that i'm already setting myself up for a toxic one.

My dad was not a great guy and has probably caused irreversible damage to my psyche but is almost completely out of my life now.

I genuinely enjoy making meals for my mom, cutting up apple slices or making snacks, cleaning the house, doing dishes (i just don't like putting the dishes up after they are dried lol, but i still do it), etc. I actually enjoy these tasks and find them satisfying.

However, I am self-aware enough to realize my self-esteem is incredibly low, I don't have great social skills, I'm kinda self destructive, and i'm terrible at expressing when i'm uncomfortable. It's only been my mom and I for a few years now, and i've never really had much interaction with guys besides my dad, who was just plain mean most of the time.

i'm scared that once i try to put myself out there more i'll meet scary guys because of how i look and act. idk, i know this is probably an irrational fear but i really am intimidated by men, even though i really want to experience having a boyfriend.

People say I'm cute and pretty and have nothing to worry but I've never really liked my face much lol.

Plus I'm in Delhi where I'm a minority so it's tough to trust people much.