Am I dating an avoidant man, or someone who's just given up?

So I (f26) have been dating this man (m25) for 4 months. I had gotten out of a long term last year, let myself heal as much as I could and met my now boyfriend. The first few dates, he was being all romantic and cheesy, and as we got closer we shared more of our past bit by bit. He has been cheated on a lot or relationships just didn't work out, I have only been in one serious long term. He has 2 young kids, 50/50 custody but that's the only time he contacts his ex, when it's about their kids. I have full access to his phone if I want to, and he has the same with mine but we never really go through each other's phones.

Fast forward to now, he has been struggling to find a job, applying any and everywhere (but this is the norm for a lot of people right now). We live a few hours apart, and because I have a job I only get to see him every other weekend or so. We make it work, we call, FaceTime, text. But, i have a hard time getting him to open up, generally about his feelings. We did have a talk about it, and ever since he has really been trying to verbally show his affection more.

Last night, after meeting his friends for the first time and having a few drinks, while we were driving home I brought up the topic of physical touch. When I asked how it made him feel that I can be physically affectionate a lot, he said he would rather know I'm there, but have less touch especially when he's overstimulated. I completely get it, but that is my biggest love language. When I come over, he makes sure to give me kisses here and there, hold my hand, etc. mostly to make sure I'm okay and happy. When we have sex, it's once or twice as we only spend a few days together at a time, but recently he's been more focused on just finishing rather than helping me finish. He sits on his game for long hours and doesn't sleep unless I ask him to come lay down, but I'm either not there or have already fallen asleep. When I wake up, he's still on the game at 6am. He doesn't eat much, but when he does it's not healthy stuff, and he's not very active anymore.

Recently, he brought up the idea of getting two journals, one for me and one for him, and we both write down in our own whatever we want to say to the other. Whether it's issues we wanna bring up, happy moments, or just words of encouragement and affection. I brought two journals with me, but we have yet to start. I'm hoping this opens him up more to me, but I don't know.

As someone who has anxiety and a lot of insecurities that I'm trying to work on, I won't lie, it's hard to date someone who is the opposite, especially in terms of physical touch. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, I need to know how to go about this and handle someone who may be an avoidant or may just be struggling. Thank you.