What would prevent 'Rivers of Living Water' from flowing from a Christian?

Basically I don't feel like these rivers are flowing through me which leads me scared I lost the Holy Spirit.

I committed a specific sin God warned me not to about 5 years ago and it's been this way sense.

It feels like I'm in jail and God comes to visit and talks to me sometimes through the jail phone and I'm on the other side of the glass But I can barely see him and there's no intimacy.

I worship because he is God and he is worthy and I think I do love him but I have not felt 'fire' or 'passion' in a very long time.

The past 4/5 years have been attempting and praying to be reconciled to God in the right way.

I know no one on Reddit can give me the answers i long for. Only God can. I just need to rant a bit. I'm trying so hard to have hope but am running out