Frustrated

I am well past my breaking point. Have been married for almost two years and stepmom to three kiddos. We have them every other weekend. My husband and I have greatly struggled with communication and expectations and this led to a lot of fighting early on but lately things have been very stable and good. However, I feel a lot of that is because I have to pick my battles and hold my tongue about everything. I don’t think he does it intentionally most of the time but he can be so disrespectful to me. This makes my blood boil and I am not one to just take the disrespect and ignore it, I will call him out. Obviously this has led to some conflict and I’ve realized that if I vocalize every single thing that I’m pissed off or confused or anxious about, it usually does more harm than good so I’ve just stopped. This weekend though I am at my wit’s end. The older two have both had some disciplinary issues lately and rightfully so my husband is angry. However, all weekend he has taken this out on me and been extremely rude and disrespectful to me. He came home from getting groceries and threw one of the kids shin guards I had drying on the counter across the room to make room for the bags. I was having them eat some watermelon before we went to a game today and he (who mind you was sleeping till 11:30 and had done nothing to help get everyone ready to go for the day) came down and said “oh yeah it’s super smart to stuff yourself right before your game”. This felt like a slight to me because I was supervising this and it’s not like I was having them eat oatmeal cream pies right before a game, it was a few pieces of watermelon. Normally this is an instance where I’d do my best to ignore it and avoid conflict but I don’t have the capacity right now and I’ve been pushing back a little bit. Of course this is causing huge issues. The kids know he is mad at them, and they can tell there is tension between us. I just want to cry. I am sick of feeling like I am the only one that has to hold my tongue or ignore things and he can just go on a rampage and do and say whatever because he’s angry at us.