I lost my virginity 15 years ago, and I still Google her name hoping she became a porn star.

Time to get this off my chest. It’s been 15 damn years. And I’m still clinging to the dumbest fantasy a man can have.

I lost my virginity in college to a gorgeous redhead, way out of my league. I was awkward, shaking, had zero idea what I was doing. But mid-thrust, my idiot brain whispered:

“What if she ends up doing porn someday? Then I could say I fucked a porn star.”

Not exactly a romantic thought to have for my first love. But a honest one.

She’s a lawyer now. Married. Two kids. Still no porn. I Google her name once or twice a year like some pathetic tradition.

Still nothing.

Meanwhile, I’m divorced, drunk, and balls-deep in a Fleshlight named Creampuff, clinging to the saddest pipe dream imaginable.

Edit: Funny how one dumb thought from a lonely college kid still sticks. Life didn’t go as planned, but I’m hanging in there.

Btw: Same post got deleted at TrueOffMyChest