My hypochondria and anxiety are about to have my kids and I homeless.

I have constant panic attack daily about my health. I’m deathly afraid to go to my doctor cause I’m convinced they will tell me I have something terminal. I’ve tried to be put on disability for my severe panic attacks/depression but no luck. I don’t want to be homeless and i definitely don’t want to lose my kids. I can’t get out of this vicious cycle. I’m still $650 short on rent. I’m so scared. I messed up so bad. I hate myself.