Venting post - why women need this controlling regulations, desperate over my situation

I dont know where to post this, and this community was incredibly helpful. I am currently 4w 1d pregnant, I want to terminate my pregnancy. I live in a country where abortion theoretically safe and accessible. However I cant order pills for home usage, and cant pay the full cost 500EUR becouse I do not have insurance. Free Eu insurance does not cover bc I am coming from a country where abortion is not covered by the national health insurance. I tried to order form WoW but after almost a week the pills still has not been shipped, but I donated. Even I somehow apply for a social discount my relationship situation and work conditions makes inpossible to visit a clinic personally. Now I am stuck with a pregnancy I dont want and I am absolutely devastated and constantly crying. I know I am responsible for this, but still I am miserable.