Loneliness and feeling i have barely lived life at all - now that i'm 30? How do you cope with it ?

30M, Decent job in tech, own a house, own a car ..never had a relationship.

20s was taken out trying to quit addiction and dealing with family trauma and responsibilities .

Even now i feel crushed with responsibilities - the crushed part is not just the responsibilities but the callous "you're good for nothing" attitude i get dealt with after. Yeah i'm flawed but i don't deserve that treatment.

Didn't have a great college life, didn't do anything, just sitting in front of a screen. Most of friends are now either busy with adulting or work or business - our schedule rarely lines up for meeting once in months.

I tried taking myself out on a few solo dates. One or two good experiences - other time i feel i'm trying to fake something that people have already done and left and the loneliness keeps hitting me.

Working out helps..but its not enough...

I don't know what to do. How to deal with it? How do you guys deal with the loneliness?

I fee i have barely lived at all..and i'm barely able to keep myself happy - i don't see myself marrying in this state ..Don't marry if you're lonely - Dostoevsky said it.

How to deal with an unlived life?