Girlfriend (F19) says she feels resentment towards me (M21) and I don’t know where we’re heading

My girlfriend and I are hitting a year later this month. We’ve had issues in the past that caused us to break up twice before. From the start of our relationship to around halfway, I was dealing with addiction. Because of this, there were a couple time I lied about my drug use.

I used to do drugs with my best friend and his girlfriend often before I met my current gf. Us three became very close. Unfortunately, my best friend passed away during the summer last year. I got closer to his girlfriend after this because we both went through a lot and we both lost someone important. Talking to her made me feel better about my friend’s passing.

My girlfriend didn’t like how close me and her were and she got upset about it. I thought it was unfair because she was the closest link to my friend and we both had history due to our friendship. It was never anything weird, we were purely platonic.

I decided to agree with her in order to avoid conflict. She told me I needed to set boundaries with her. I tried but eventually I just started hiding it. This was a mistake and she ended up finding out. I also made the mistake of talking about our relationship issues with my friend’s gf, which my gf also found out about.

We broke up after this, but we kept talking almost everyday. I understood that I messed up and how much I hurt her and I began trying everything to make it up to her. Eventually we began to get close again and we got back together. We were doing good for a while.

Sometime around December last year, I found out she was following her ex boyfriend and I’m not completely sure if anything happened but I believe the most they did was talk. I was a little hurt by this but decided to just let it go. Part of it was because I had made so many mistakes, I felt that I couldn’t really make a big deal about it.

We moved on from this and about two months ago, my gf caught porn on my phone which she is really against. She was considering breaking up but eventually she decided against it. We moved on from this surprisingly quick. We’ve been doing very good recently, expert more often, she becomes very passive aggressive towards me, especially when she upset about something else. She’ll be upset and then she takes it out on me. I finally said something about it but it kind of the same. I’ve brought it up twice now.

Yesterday was when I brought it up. This morning was weird and she was being passive aggressive again when we were just talking about how good we were doing. Also that, she has crazy mood swing. We’ll be fine and out of nowhere she’ll get upset with me. Last night we had a good talk until very late about our friends, etc. Also about how we were doing very good.

This morning she was passive aggressive again and she mentioned how when she’s upset, she starts remembering all the stuff I did and it makes her more upset.

I told her how it isn’t fair to keep holding that stuff against me when we talked about it, I apologized, and we decided to try again. I’ve made serious changes in my life for us. I’m 6 months sober, I cut off my friend’s gf, and I’m trying very hard to support her and be a good partner. I told her it’s not fair and how her acting that way makes me feel. I said that I keep trying to support her but she just pushes me away. This makes me feel like not talking to her sometimes. It also makes me feel like she doesn’t really want to be with me. Like she’s unsure but only together because she’s comfortable. She ignored me this and me all day and we haven’t talked.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t think this is leading to a break up, but I have no idea what to do now. I know I made mistakes, but I changed and I’m better. I don’t hold anything against her. I’ve dealt with her attitude for so long now. Any advice?

tl;dr My gf hold a lot of resentment towards me from my past mistakes. This makes her be very passive aggressive towards me. We’re in a big argument now and I don’t know where it’s heading. I don’t think it’s fair to hold my mistakes against me when it was a while ago and I’ve changed.