When do you know it’s over? Is it ever?

I have been with my SO for 16 yrs married 14. We have 2 sons (20yoM) 10yoM), the oldest being from her previous relationship. I never wanted divorce to be an option. We have tried counseling.

The therapist looked me in the eye and said”I can’t help you”. Wife is a very strong willed, honest, everything is black and white, kind of woman. She is very good looking, sex isn’t the issue. The issue is she is never happy, and I am the cause of all her stress and anxiety in her life. I have tried to be patient and listen. I am on a 3 week deployment in the US not a couple hours from my house. I have tried to take what I can offer her plate. It’s never enough she stresses about everything. The grass the pool the dog. Like everything. Will not take meds she’s a hypercondriac. All kinds of food allergies. Insecure about her body. Everyman has done wrong by her

Now about me. I was never an angry person before we got together. Or have anxiety or depression. I have tried all this time to make sure she had everything she needed. We do not hurt for money. I am not perfect. I have gotten angry and frustrated and said thing to hurt her when I am overwhelmed and stressed. I truly apologize. I don’t want to fight anymore but I don’t think we how not to fight. She mad at me for buying her an electric scooter that she has been talking about for years. Our youngest has one. Says it was wasting money on something she won’t use, but then in the same breath tells me to plan for a party and a wk vacation 12 hrs away. Just added more stuff to the plate.

I just don’t know if I can continue to just be miserable and blamed for everything when I just want peace, be treated kindly, and have fun.

What can I do? To make it better, or just call it quits?

I don’t want to have this toxic environment around my son