Help should I (26m) break up with my girl (27f)

I met my girl in college when I was 17 and she was 18. We have been together nearly 9 years, 5 years of which were long distance. We are still living apart for financial reasons.

I love my girlfriend, I think if I jumped off a bridge right now she'd do the same. She's a 10/10 cute and pretty and hot and innocent, to the point she gets hit on a lot by strangers. We are also both very compatible in the bedroom, we are not afraid of exploring different things together and we find each other extremely attractive.

However, I don't really see a future with her.

We both value money and we both want kids and we're both very career driven. However she's not the smartest and isn't doing very well with her career. She's actively finding ways to secure a higher paying job but to be honest I just don't see her getting very far beyond the £40k mark. It also doesn't help that the type of work she does is more of an assistant role and can be replaced by AI in a few years or less. I have been working hard and have saved up enough to move out, and can secure a job without too much difficulty.

Although she values money and financial stability, she can't control her spending. This is a red flag for me and it could jeopardise everything, and even our future children.

She also doesn't make an effort to go to the gym. I know I sound really petty but I've been waking up every morning at 5am to get to the gym and get the work done on my program. I don't know why but her not going to the gym and then complaining about her body (even though in my eyes she's perfect) just pisses me off. I've written programs for her and she's done well on them and she's starting to like the shape of her body now but she's been slacking recently, and this lack of effort really grinds my gears.

As for kids I keep thinking because she isn't very intelligent, I know I'm being just an AH now, there's a good chance our children might also be not very intelligent. I mean I'm not the smartest either but I like to think I'm ever so slightly smarter than average. I wouldn't want to bring up children if I knew they wouldn't have much of a chance of getting anywhere, especially as everything has gotten so much more competitive.

I want to be with someone who takes the gym seriously, who is career driven and is capable of developing themselves. I want my children to be able to look up to their mom as the best role model.

But I just can't break up with her. She's mentioned multiple times I'm the only reason she's alive, and she's mentioned once that she'd kill herself if I left her. I love her and I don't want her to end her life like ever. She also grew up in a poor and physically abusive family, if I leave her she can't afford to move out anytime soon and she'll be stuck with her family for much longer, she would also be even further behind in other financial milestones like getting a mortgage. The abuse and stress living in that household is going to kill her as well. I'm not sure what her extended family are going to think of her as well, we both looked like we had everything all planned out. My parents also do not like her purely because of the colour of her skin, which really pisses me off because it's 2025, but I can't help but think how awkward it would be if my parents were to help with the childcare and how uncomfortable it would be for her to live in the same household with them.

If I left her I feel like she would really be left with nothing, and it just feels awful to do that to someone I've always wanted the best for.

On the other hand, I'm also not a great boyfriend either. Although I keep saying I want my children to have someone to look up to, the last person I want them to end up like is myself. I have ADHD, I look physically intimidating and can throw weights overhead, but I'm very timid outside the gym in front of other people, I also have trouble making friends and just being a good human being in general. I did not grow up poor like my gf did, in fact I grew up with everything I wanted, I was fed my career path with a silver spoon - yet I am usually ungrateful for my upbringing. Maybe we're made for each other and we shouldn't ever have children