Need motivation to become better…

To preface, I have the bad habit of blowing up at people and not letting things go. This past weekend was supposed to be fun, (seeing as it was my father figure’s birthday) but now I feel like I cause misery to everyone around me. Friday was fine, but the next day was where everything went wrong. I accidentally passed gas while walking somewhere, and my father figure said I “blew him a kiss.” I got mad at it and yelled at him, and I still feel guilty about it. Today, while we were leaving to go home, I yelled at him because I thought he was fussing at me for no reason (he’d been asking me to do something, and as I was listening to music, I only heard/remembered one instance.) I felt guilty about it. Me and my mom stopped at a gas station, and she made me call him. I apologized, and when I tried to explain what happened, she said “don’t make excuses.” My habit of not letting things go ended up getting in the way, and she yelled at me. We patched things up, but I want this to stop…