BREAKING: Trump Claims He Rode To School On A Dinosaur

“Before they went extinct I had a few as pets, the Brontosaurus was always my favourite as it could lift me up really high and I could slide down its back and jump off its tail when I got to school. All the other kids were impressed but I said I just bought it with my small allowance of $1 million a week.”

“I was quite SAD when BIDEN shot my dinosaur, I never really got over it you know, then they went extinct and now I still visit its bones in the museum sometimes. BIDEN killed all the dinosaurs and it’s so very sad, because we already had enough oil and gasoline you know he didn’t have to kill more dinosaurs. But they are all gone now, and I blame BIDEN”