uh idk me ranting about relationships

I'M GONNA TWEAK OUT 😭😭😭 why am I transsssss NOW I CAN ONLY DATE GIRLS OR OTHER TRANS PEOPLE (no shade love y'all) BUTTT AHAHAHNDJDJD I js want a man. 😞 but they are to freaky and I feel bad dating girls. Like I'm lying to them (anyone else have that problem) and then transpeople (love y'all you guys are great love how we connect) but the issue is most trans people (me included) hace a thing where. WE ARE NEVER CLOSE WHYYYY (seriously are their laws that day all trans people must be 4 states away!??) and then the guys who are close to me ARE SO FREAKY AND DISRESPECTFULL DHDNDMNRJSJSHRHRJD.... my boyfriend (not really boyfriend but he is.!??) love it. (I dont why must guys be so difficult) and the girls either a) don't like trans people or b) I feel like I'm lying to them. (About being a boy-ish) and it ain't that I WANT a relationship RIGHT NOW! No it's that I can't have one because yea. I'm about to b0mb my brain /j but then I don't get treated right. Am I doing something wrong? Fr (all of you reading this who have a loving partner I am jealous an tell me your ways) okay thank you for reading this big ahh paragraph 🥳🥳🍰< here is a cake for listening