Idk what to do

trigger warning? I am a minor who’s been dealing with an sh addiction since i was about 9, on and off. I feel like this sadness is a cycle that i can never escape. i started smoking/vaping at 13 and recently discovered pot. now, if im not on some kind of drug (i dont take anything super harsh it’s alright) then, i just fall back into this slump. I have been clean of sh for about 4 months but im worried about relapsing. I’m just so tired of repeating myself over and over and i’m not sure how to stop this cycle