Day 5 - I'm not sure I can cope anymore

I don't know how I'm going to cope with life at the moment. It all seems like it's crashing all around me. The responsibilities I've been entrusted with seem to have overwhelmed me. I'm having suicidal thoughts for the first time in a long time. I feel trapped. Like a caged animal. Almost like my life is squeezing everything it's got out of me. I wanted to smoke today to take the edge off. But now I just want to jump off an edge and end it all already.

I know maybe I'm just being dramatic, and this feeling is potentially only temporary. There are so many things I'd like to do. But I have no money or time to do it. I need to work, but the more work I do, the less time I have to do anything. Sigh... Idk what to do anymore.

Since I woke up today I've felt like a great pressure around my temples. I know weed used to help calm my nerves, but I don't think even weed can help me out right now. Maybe I wasn't meant to be married. Maybe I wasn't meant to be a father.