Missed the 100 day mark

Everyone here keeps up with dates. I've apparently made it 117 days with this terrible pain. Risked homelessness and lost so many friendships due to people shaming me for grieving. Working a full time job and had to move everything and my pets in less than a day. I miss him so much. Moving out of the house we lived in was surreal. We were so excited to move out of that house. How has it been 117 days since you were here? I've watched my future become ash and lost the ability to taste anything sweet. I don't have an active will or family to respect my wishes. If I had found him, I would have gone with him. Exhausted doesn't even begin to describe this.