[35M] FIRE by 45? Navigating Money OCD, Inheritance, and Uncertainty

Hey everyone—longtime lurker, finally posting. Looking for some perspective on my FIRE plan and also hoping someone here might relate to the mental/emotional side of all this, especially if you’ve struggled with anxiety/OCD around money.

Current situation:

• 35, single, no kids
• $225K income
• No debt
• Renting in a VHCOL area—my share is $1500/month
• Total monthly spend is probably ~$5K (I don’t budget strictly but hit my savings goals consistently)
• Max out 401k and save an additional $5K/month (recently shifted this into house savings)

Assets:

• $421K in brokerage
• $494K in retirement accounts
• $80K cash
• $950K in a trust I’ll gain full access to in 12 years (can draw partial distributions earlier; invested in mutual funds—my plan is to leave it untouched and let it grow)

Goals:
I’d love to FIRE around 45. I also want to settle down and have kids someday, which adds a layer of uncertainty to my projections. Buying a house is a priority too, but in my area, mortgage costs could easily be $5–6K/month. I've thought about house hacking to help with that.

A very comfortable future budget might look like $150K/year to account for family, housing, etc., but I honestly don’t know—it’s all abstract right now.

Mental side of FIRE:
I know I’m in an incredibly privileged position, especially with the trust. But I’ve also been wired for frugality/anxiety my whole life. I struggle with obsessive tendencies and have noticed FIRE has become an unhealthy hyperfocus at times.

I recently got two job offers:

• One pays $80K more and could help accelerate my FIRE goals, but the company is known to be high-stress and sometimes toxic. The reputation for this is at the company level and it's a big company (you def know it) - my team may be better but it's hard to tell how insulated it is.
• The other is at a smaller company, could be more interesting but pays a little less than what I make now.

I’m working with a therapist, but I still find myself spiraling into endless “what if” FIRE calcs—what if inflation wrecks everything, what if housing becomes unaffordable, what if I’m making the wrong career move based on pursuing FIRE, etc.

So my questions for you all:

• Does FIRE by 45 seem realistic based on my numbers and goals?
• How do you plan for big life unknowns like kids and housing in your FIRE modeling?
• Has anyone else dealt with obsessive thinking or anxiety around money and FIRE? How did you deal with it?

Appreciate any input. Note: I did use chatGPT to format some of this, my thoughts were a bit rambling but this captures it pretty well. Cheers and thank you for reading.