AITAH for breaking up with my bf for lying about previous relationships

Sorry this is a longgg post! My boyfriend (M28) and I (F26) are about to break up AGAIN because he lied about who he’s been with. The first time I broke up with him because I found out he kept on lying about a specific girl he use to date. One night while cuddling a picture of both of them came up on his phone. I didn’t say anything and neither did he and we just went to sleep. He was still following her on TikTok, connected on LinkedIn, Snapchat, etc. and at this point we had been official for a month or so & seeing each other for ~4 months. I asked him to unfollow her from all socials and he did.

I started asking questions about her like, when was the last time they talked and he said he hadn’t talked to her in 2 years and she meant nothing to him and that his parents didn’t know about her. All of it was a lie. One night I went through his phone and I found out they were texting up until the day we made it official and even went on a roadtrip the week before we met. His parents knew about her and seemed to really like her.

His continuous lies about her bothered me so much , it was always coming up in arguments even months later. We went on a trip for our 1 year anniversary and I asked him if he’s ever been to the City I know she lives in and he obviously lied and said no. Well that night I got drunk and absolutely berated him calling him all sorts of names and making him feel less than. I felt HORRIBLE about it. I decided to forgive him for all of the lies about her because he hadn’t met me when he knew her and because I know I had some things to be forgiven for as well.

Well months later we break up and I make it very clear that if we were ever to get back together I didn’t want him to ever text me again if he even talked to another girl while we were broken up. I said this knowing how insecure it would make me to get back with someone who might’ve even dated someone else.

Well 6 months later , I get out of a short term relationship (he doesn’t know about it) and I will note that he’s been texting me on and off throughout these 6 months checking in on me. When my relationship ended I decided to text him and ended up going over that night. We instantly picked up where we left off and everything seemed great. I almost felt like better versions of ourselves picked up where we left off. Well, one day we’re talking and he lets me know that he had Hinge (we met there) when we were broken up, I asked him if he dated anyone and he said no. I decided to look past this and still stay with him since he was forecoming with that info.

Well… there were some red flags around his apartment, an empty conditioner bottle, wine bottle (he doesn’t drink wine) and long hairs. He said that he bought that conditioner and the wine bottle was his roommates (who I’ve never ever seen drink wine). Well one night I decide to look through his phone but he caught me. I apologized but honestly I was still determined to get the truth. He let me borrow his laptop and I found uber receipts in his email from the month before we got back together. One was to a house at 10pm and another to his home at 3am from a bar. I was obviously bothered after that and my demeanor showed it, I insisted nothing was wrong and we went to sleep. He noticed I wasn’t cuddling with him the next morning since I was still bothered and he got so annoyed with that. Before leaving he insisted I tell him what’s wrong and I said you lied to me again. He said he wasn’t going to tell me anything until I told him how I found out. I was not going to tell him how I found out because I know he would only admit to what I already knew - and I wanted to know the truth. Anyway I was leaving for a trip the next day so he said we’ll talk when I’m back from my trip. I didn’t talk to him for 2 days until he texted me saying I hope you’re having a good trip. I was drunk and started berating him again. And again I feel super bad about it and hate that this side of me is brought out. I don’t think this relationship can move forward but I want to know if I’m being unreasonable or if I ruined this relationship. I know he loves me dearly and he never cheated on me (I think) but he just keeps lying about other girls and i feel like all the lies are getting too much to forgive. I know I shouldn’t have berated him, went through his phone, and I know that I had a boyfriend he doesn’t know about. I can’t tell if I’m gaslighting myself into thinking I’m justified or he’s gaslighting me into thinking it’s okay he lied since we weren’t together.