Self harming over not getting into my dream college

I’ve tried and I actually can’t cope like at all. I feel like I’ve failed despite so much work I don’t want to go anywhere else I want to go to my dream school. I’ve lost sleep, I’ve lost my mental health, whatever just so I could get into a top50 and I couldn’t even manage that?? I couldn’t get into a public ivy? I’m such a disappointment I feel like I deserve to bleed I hate myself