My 36M boyfriend lost his pro fight and is spiraling — I’m 24F and unsure how to support him emotionally

My boyfriend (36M) recently lost a major kickboxing championship — the first time he’s fought while in a serious relationship. We also just moved in together for the first time (for both of us), and this loss has hit him hard. Since then, he’s been saying things like “I’m a loser,” “You must be disappointed,” “I don’t deserve a relationship like this,” and even “I should’ve died last night.”

He owns a gym and is a great coach. He supports his students’ dreams, and many are achieving their goals. But his own dream has always been to be world-famous as a professional fighter. Now, at 36, he feels like that goal is slipping away forever — and this loss feels like the final nail. He’s spiraling into deep self-hate and despair.

I admire him deeply. I watched how hard he worked — not just the sparring but the weight cut and discipline. I don’t mind if he vents or needs space. But when he says he’s worthless or doesn’t deserve to live, it breaks something in me. It’s like being handed a delicate plate and told to hold it still while pressure keeps building. Eventually, it cracks. I want to be there for him — but I’m also hurting.

I plan to gently ask: “What do you need when you feel this low? What helps? What doesn’t?” And I hope to open a safe space to talk about how his words affect me too.

If you’ve been in a similar situation — as the athlete or the partner — how did you get through it? What helped? I really want to support him, but I also want to take care of myself.

TL;DR: My 36M boyfriend lost a big kickboxing fight and is spiraling emotionally. He feels like a failure, says he’s worthless, and doesn’t deserve our relationship. I’m 24F, and while I want to support him, it’s also hurting me. We just moved in together for the first time. How do I support him and protect my own emotional well-being?