Does anyone else’s narcissistic parent tell you repeatedly that you don’t have empathy?

This seems to happen a lot with my mom. It’s like I always say the wrong thing.

It really hurts me when she says this because after a while I start to believe it and I over analyze all my actions with everyone in my entire life. I’m constantly looking for reasons I might be a monster and not aware of how bad I really am.

My mom knows that I have this kind of moralistic ocd behavior as well. I think she knows that I’m sensitive and it hurts me to be seen as not having empathy. I can’t believe she doesn’t know this. Is that why she says this to me? Or does she really think I don’t have empathy? Because sometimes I do worry I’m numb

For example today she told me “I just want to stop everything” I’m like what do you mean? She’s like “I don’t want to work a 9-5 Monday through Thursday . I want more joy in my life” I was like hmm I think a lot of people feel that way, like 80% of people. She said “no not everyone feels like I do. You’re not listening to me or seeing me”

I said I’m sorry but you’re not giving me a lot that’s why I’m asking questions. She again said “i just want everything to stop” and I said “are you trying to tell me you’re suicidal?” And she said “no but if I was that would not be comforting at all”

Like oh ok I’m sorry. I’m so emotionally burnt out.

We tried to go out to eat after that and she just sat there looking absolutely miserable and struggling to pull a menu up on her phone. I offered my menu on my phone and she said no. My boundaries kicked in and I said “I’m feeling sick maybe we should just leave” cause I couldn’t imagine sitting there with her like this.

We walked back to my place in silence and she was walking ahead of me (she does this all the time, is this an N thing?) and we get home and she says bye and walks to her car. I said are you okay? And she said (I’m paraphrasing) “no we left because you couldn’t handle my emotions and you never can tolerate them. This seems to be a pattern for us. I don’t feel cared for”

I feel so exasperated and desperate like I’m struggling in my own life. Maybe I wasn’t as empathetic as I should be but I’m in my own depression right now.