Women have never been interested in me. And I don't feel like changing myself just so women will like me.

Since I was a teenager I knew that I wasn't attractive to women. I struggled with this so much in my life, trying to date and find a girlfriend always felt so impossible. I never had any luck, never met anyone interested, women in my friend groups never noticed me or paid attention to me, I went on a couple dates but they were also very uninterested and seemed like they wanted to leave the whole time, never got responses on dating apps, occasionally I thought something might be going well but then I would get ghosted, etc etc.

When I started getting later into my 20s it began to really bother me. My friends appeared to be scoring dates and hooking up so easily but I felt like no women ever looked at me. I tried really hard to change things about myself. I worked out really hard at the gym for like 5 years straight and bought better clothes and also gave up a lot just so I could be more attractive and hopefully a woman would notice me. Always tried to be normal around women, not some weirdo just hitting on them or getting sexual right away.

I still had no luck, women I tried talking to were not interested, went through a lot of rejection, put my heart on the line for women who just felt nothing for me, even though I felt such a deep connection with them. It always felt so confusing and frustrating because I wanted to have that connection with a woman so badly, the intimacy and closeness and love with a woman, and I could never find it. I would go out to bars and nightclubs over and over just hoping to find someone, just trying to close in on a number or something, but it just never happened. I tried dating apps but hardly got matches, and any matches I did get would never respond, and it just went on like that for years.

I know reading this you might say "you are probably just desperate or clingy" but I ever had a desperate or thirsty attitude towards the women I was pursuing. People always make those assumptions when describing a problem like this but that wasn't the case. I was just trying to find someone out here because I wanted that connection. And if I don't include any of this people will say "well it sounds like you never tried". I always felt like I was doing everything right and doing all the right things but I would get rejected in the end and I never knew why.

At this point I don't believe I will ever be in a relationship. I can't picture a woman ever liking me or genuinely being interested in me. I don't think I'm someone who will ever be seen in an attractive or boyfriend material.

And at this point I just don't see the point in trying to change so that women will like me. I'm at a stage where I'm fine with myself and who I am and I already tried to change as best I could but it led to no results and made me feel worse about myself inside. I just wish that a woman could see things in me and like me for who I am just once in my life.