He said he should’ve died after losing the fight — and I don’t know how to carry all this

I’m 24F and my boyfriend (36M) is a professional kickboxer. He just lost a major championship fight — and ever since, he’s been saying things like “I should’ve died last night,” “I’m a loser,” and “You must be disappointed that you’re dating someone like me.” He even said he doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship.

We just moved in together for the first time. This is the first time either of us has ever lived with a partner, and now I feel like I’m watching the person I love completely collapse in front of me.

He owns a gym and supports other fighters — and they’re succeeding. But his dream has always been to be world-famous, not just locally respected. After this fight, he thinks that dream is over. He’s not angry at anyone else — just himself. I know he’s in pain. I admire him. But it’s exhausting hearing someone you love say they don’t deserve to be alive.

I don’t want advice. I just needed to say this out loud somewhere. Because I’ve been pretending like I’m fine — like I can carry this weight. But it’s getting really, really heavy.

TL;DR: My fighter boyfriend lost a big match and is spiraling. He says he’s worthless and doesn’t deserve to live. I’m trying to be strong but I’m breaking inside too.