Train Trauma (Major TW)

Before I start this off, I’m gonna put it again. Major TW!! (Mentions of su*cide)

I have extreme travel anxiety. I had a flight booked back home from vacation, and rescheduled it due to extreme anxiety. After that first flight in, I knew I wasn’t ready to fly back.

So I booked the train

I felt comfortable and safe, things were going okay. Then things started getting really bumpy, and it immediately triggered me. Though I am pretty sure that’s regular for trains. I was terrified.

Awhile later, the train suddenly stops. No one knows what’s going on. They open the doors, and explain there will be a delay, and we are free to leave for awhile until they call us back.

The delay?

Someone was hit The train in front of us (not my train) hit a person

Now, I’m not sure if it was intentional, or simply a freak accident. Either way. It created a full blown panic attack. I cried in grief for the person and their family, I cried in fear of hitting something or someone else.

Now I’m petrified. What if there is something else on the tracks we can’t see? What if there’s some other random issue? What if we derail? I’m on a train as I write this. Everyone else is sleeping, and I’m awake panicking. Internally, I’m suffering. Please help!