How Am I Doing? Tips?

Hello! I am a senior in high school and doing some final practice essays for the exam this week. I’m having my teacher score this for me tomorrow but I’d like some other tips and thoughts! Written in 38 minutes.

The Night Stages, a novel published in 2015 by Jane Urquhart, presents an artist named Kenneth as he finishes his newest mural and questions how such a work will be received. Kenneth presents a political statement within his newest work, yet fails to realize that frequently such messages will be ignored by the public. Using auditory imagery and powerful symbols, Urquhart presents Kenneth’s complex artistic perspective to the audience in a deep and moving manner.
Kenneth moves into creating his work with excitement and hope for how people are to receive the message of his art piece, but the biggest struggle and anxiety before him is whether or not people will even notice the deep message set behind the work. He thinks of the critic’s head, imaging him as “Humpty-Dumpty.” Humpty-Dumpty in literature is depicted as a character who falls from a wall and cracks. He imagines the critic's “great fall,” symbolizing his ongoing fears and anxieties that the critic will not take his work seriously or in the way he hopes. The way in which Kenneth paints is a powerful symbol in itself, as he paints using a technique involving eggs and egg yolks. He remembered how the critic had told him to “keep the picture plane flat, two-dimensional,” and the egg yolks create a depth to the art and perspective itself. Kenneth creates political messages within his work, and the eggs and the depth they create defy the critic’s own suggestion and perspective on Kenneth’s work. Kenneth defies the perspectives of others and brings depth and powerful messages into his work. Urquhart presents the perspective of Kenneth through him using “egg to paint” and presenting him thinking of the critic as he “broke the shell” to symbolically share this. Within the text, shared auditory imagery furthers the perspective that Kenneth holds within his art and his fear of his perspective not being seen. Within the first paragraph, the sound of a drill goes on “shrieking somewhere in the building.” The clatter of the sounds of Kenneth’s tools must have been “drowned out by its noise.” The sounds shared within this continue to build along the anxiety Kenneth has around his political artistic perspective not being understood or looked upon. The loud noise created by the sound of Kenneth’s tools was “drowned out.” Kenneth’s artistic perspective is one that is powerful, but one that has been overlooked by many before. The last paragraph presents the sounds of a plane, “arriving and departing at the old, soon-to-be-abandoned terminal.” Kenneth thinks of the sound of the plane, the many people being delivered by the terminal, and whether or not they would “simply pass by” his work. Kenneth thinks of the volume of the things around him, how loud they are and the impact they have on the world, and whether or not his work will make an impact as well. His political perspective is presented as he wonders how people will understand his work, his fears contributing to the understanding of the political nature within the text. This excerpt from Urquhart’s work presents Kenneth, a painter who uses his own complex artistic methods to convey his political perspective through art. His fears hold him back from being excited about his work, wondering whether or not people will understand his message or simply overlook it. His artistic perspective is one of deep politics, and throughout the excerpt Urquhart shares multiple intricate literary elements to display this.