Is this an unhealthy mindset to have and if it is, how do I fix it?

very long because it's a bit personal.

TL:DR - I don't do things because it makes me happy or they're fun, I do it out of jealously and to fufill my ego because i'm not sure what else I can really do.

I always have jealously towards everyone I know, even my family and friends. I feel like all of them get much more acknowledged in a lot of fields than I do. I also have this idea that in school if people are smarter than me in something, it bugs me. It irks me to see myself outdone in something by someone else.

I force myself to study and think about a topic not because I like it (being quite frank I hate studying) but to one - up them and satisfy my own ego. I have always had these thoughts in my life, but it sprang up like crazy in high school because of the fact that around this time, how I thought about life changed dramatically.

I'm not even doing bad in grades either, I have like 85s-90s for a majority of my classes. These should be the grades everyone wants, and many people think it's weird for me to hate it. But truthfully

I feel like all I have in life is that, is me being somewhat smart in areas where most aren't. Take that away from me and what would I really have? I have a very small friend group, i'm not an extroverted kind of person and I lose a lot of opportunities because of it.

I just feel like nobody could ever understand me because of the fact that I don't know a lot of people that could relate with my situation at all.