Mother in rehab and in pain, just sad

My mom is 74, she’s had diabetic neuropathy for a long time and was prescribed oxycodone for the pain. She was on dialysis for some time before getting a kidney transplant in early 2019 and was doing pretty well for a while, in early 2020 she even went on a monthlong trip just her and her other older cousins and she was just fine on it. Unfortunately after she came back I noticed her in more pain and walking/moving around less and less. She said her back hurt too much to walk a lot. I felt it was probably arthritis but she didn’t seem to want to do anything about it, like I think she thought nothing could be done to help it. Then in 2022 the worst happened when we were on vacation she fell in the bathroom at the hotel. We called 911 because she couldn’t get up and she went to the hospital where they basically said she was fine and discharged her. It was pretty awful, she spent days laying in the bed at the hotel not getting up but eventually we were able to get her to the car and home. Once home she fell again down the porch stairs. This time the hospital found a sprain and she spent some time recovering in the hospital and rehab. When she came home it was tough at times but she was mostly able to walk between her bed, her chair and the bathroom with her walker.

She has had some ups and downs over the last two years or so but mostly it’s been downs since last October. Something happened and she stopped driving (something she really loved to do), stopped being able to leave to go to appointments (the porch stairs are pretty hard for her). Just in general she is in so much pain and she is absolutely unwilling to participate in any sort of pain management that isn’t oxycodone.

A couple of weeks ago she hurt her back getting up from her chair and even getting up became impossible for her. She called 911 to go to the hospital. They found a minor sprain and this time got a small procedure on her back. A couple days later they wanted to discharge her to a rehab and she wanted to go to a certain one (because she had been there before and it was nice), I’m not sure if it’s because she called it the wrong name or if it was because the one she wanted was full but they sent her to another rehab that’s way more run down and not as nice. She’s been there three days (so basically the weekend) and she hates it so much and wants to leave. My brother (who’s autistic) also hates going there to see her, adding to the stress. She wants me to call her doctors at the hospital to see when she can get out but the nurses at the rehab said she won’t even get out of bed for PT (she told me the PT went well…) and so she can’t even get up to use the bathroom yet. It’s just been the weekend, I’d like her out asap as well but I’m hoping maybe things might go better during the week. I told her please, all you need to do is be able to get out of bed and use the bathroom and they’ll probably let you out. I know there are people who are bedridden have to be cleaned up and many people here are dealing with that but I just don’t feel ready to do that yet. I always get frustrated with her because I feel like she gives up and doesn’t try all the options available to her.

This is so long, I’m sorry but I really wanted to just vent a bit. I’m just not sure what to do about anything.