r/datingadvice•
MikeyBGeek

I broke up with her, now she's randomly giving me more attention than before?

I need advice

Not sure where else to ask.. could use some insight.

Background, this girl was really great on paper, but there were issues... We had nothing in common, and we weren't religiously compatible at all. Shes the type to go to the mosque every week, has fairly conservative views, and because of that I didn't feel safe being myself. I never felt confident or comfortable around her, but I admit that's from my own insecurities. She was always too busy to hang out or talk most days, leaving me on read for hours to days, and when I try to call I'd be sent to voicemail. It was always some obligation with friends or family, or some religious function... We only had 5 dates in a span of 2 months, like literally only been in person around each other that many times. The whole situation just made me felt low, inadequate, etc. The anxiety over the incompatibility was gnawing at me, and it was frustrating putting in way more energy into building something than she was (at least that was my perspective) so I called it off. I thought she kinda felt the same way, we both felt like we were on eggshells around each other, it was always awkward. No chemistry, just waiting to see if any spark would happen but it didn't. So we at least ended in friendly terms.

Anyway fast forward a month, I'm trying to move on and get encouraged to try dating again, and out of the blue she's randomly sending me reels, pictures and memes on Instagram like I did with her when we tried dating. Like actually initiating conversations and stuff. And when I respond she is actually replying promptly, actually TRYING to have conversation. Don't get me wrong, it's all friendly and she's a great person, but it's making me really confused, because this is what I was hoping for when we were courting and trying to build attraction in the first place.

She was one of the rare ones that I did the breaking up with, usually they end things with me, but it always ended the same... They either don't speak to me again or it would be like a year or two until it seems not awkward to talk. But this is like a month after.

It's frustrating. I broke up with her because of lack of reciprocating attention. And all of a sudden I'm getting the attention I wish I had after we broke up? And it's not like we even DID anything. We didn't even hold hands or kiss or anything because she is so old fashioned. I first I thought maybe she just wants to be friendly, but it's not like she doesn't have plenty of friends, since she had enough obligations with friends before to keep us from even meeting.

This is my question as someone with little to no insight into women or what's "normal" in dating or relationships: Is this the behavior of someone trying to rekindle something so soon after it ended, or is this someone who just wants to be friends? If this has happened to anyone before, I would hope for some reassurance that this is innocent. I don't want to get into it with them again, I don't miss the anxiety.

Posted May 5, 2025, 2:14 AM UTC

21
Loading comments…