My birthday was quiet

you sent no birthday wishes the other day. it really feels final now. of course you couldn’t wish me well. i remember how we used to celebrate each other’s presence in our lives on birthdays. i still wonder if things would be different if i picked up your phone call on my last birthday. something so small, but maybe it would have changed something. It feels so final now. It’s really done. You’re really leaving me behind. I know you didn’t want to, but you know that what you wanted wasn’t possible. We were never that in my eyes. Always more. My mistake. It aches sometimes. It aches now. Did you think about me on my birthday? did you remember? I hesitate when I hear of August. Of tortoises. Of South Africa. Of love. Of heartbreak. Of you.