Back to zero

I'll be back to zero at the end of May or even earlier if I keep up this self sabotaging behavior. My meds seems to stop working. It used to mute my negative self talk and sui ideation but it's so loud that I'm back to my unmotivated self questioning everything and my existence.

I think I'm not employable anymore after this cause where do I even begin?

Bad habits really die hard. My meds also adds to it.

And I can only blame my self for doing this to myself.