Submissive confused about my dynamic (first time sub btw) —need real advice from experienced subs

Hi all, I’m in a submissive role with someone I’ve known for a short while, and recently we’ve developed a full-on Dom/sub dynamic that’s very intense. I’ve surrendered completely to him—he makes decisions for me, tells me when I can go out, when I can speak, when I can cum, etc. I have to ask permission for everything, even non-sexual things like going out or buying something.

He refers to me as his “fuck toy,” “cum slut,” “piece of meat,” and says things like he’ll come over, fuck me while I’m asleep, and leave because I’m just a hole for him to use. He says I’m nothing but a whore that he owns. I know a lot of this is dirty talk, but there are times it feels… real. Sometimes we talk like normal people and he’ll say sweet things like “baby,” “my perfect girl,” and tell me he’s proud of me—but it’s always surrounded by very degrading language and control.

I’ve expressed discomfort or jealousy at times (like when he was on dating apps), and he got really angry, told me I pissed him off, and that I don’t get to speak to him like that because he owns me. I ended up apologizing even though I was feeling hurt, because I didn’t want to upset him or lose the dynamic.

I want to believe he cares, but honestly, I don’t know. I’ve never had a dynamic like this before. I never thought I’d want to be owned or controlled, but I love submitting to him. Still, I’m scared I’ve gone too far mentally, and that I’m allowing someone to treat me in a way that could damage me long-term.

So I’m here asking for genuine advice. Has anyone experienced something like this? Is it still healthy if there’s no real aftercare or emotional check-ins? Am I just being dramatic? Or is this a red flag?

Any insight—especially from experienced submissives—would mean a lot. I want to be honest with myself before I end up hurting myself emotionally.