Want to shave my head

My hair causes me significant sensory issues - the feel, the smell, as well as general maintenance effort required. I have had a shaved head multiple times in the past and love the reduction in sensory misery.

Unfortunately (lol) I have been gifted with really beautiful hair - thick, curly, red. It is an identity marker for me. I am cisgender lesbian and I do get some gender dysphoria with a shaved head. I anticipate some professional repercussions for having a gender nonconforming haircut as well.

I feel like there are two wolves inside of me and it is a lose/lose situation. I know there are middling level haircuts but I really only achieve sensory relief when I have a shaved head.

I have recently suffered a significant loss and I feel the instinct to shave my head resurging because my baseline tolerance for sensory distress has become dramatically reduced. I also fear the perception that I might be dramatically bringing attention to myself due to grief.

I really appreciate this subreddit and am just looking for some commiseration on this topic, as I know it is a common one.