I'm ngl I don't want my mom to die

Like Ive forgave her and I'm really grateful for her now and I used to be more ig nonchalant about the fact she was gonna die in a few years but

Honestly I think I care now. I know my moms hurt me before but she's done a lot for me and I know she wants to live longer than she probably can and I just feel bad

She works night shifts every Saturday just so she can afford you know me and my older brother (she isn't letting me get a job so I can't rlly help) and her hearts failing

And sure she was neglectful but she truly is a generous person and sure she's been cruel but she does have wisdom and no matter who she is I don't think she deserves the life she has. I don't think resentment for anyone is fair but I understand why she's harborered resentment for me