If I transition I'll kill my dad.

"If you come out and start transitioning you'll kill your dad, with his heart he cannot take that stress and I won't lose my husband to my son's mental illness"
- my mother

The worst thing is, there's probably a sliver of truth in there. My dad cannot take any stress, I live in a highly transphobic country where it's dangerous to be openly trans, I look like a neanderthal man with male-pattern baldness, and my voice is literally in the bass register - I've been training but it's not anywhere close to feminine yet.