So my sister has been married for 3 years. She secretly got married and only told my mom and I when she was mad ag him one day. 
3 yrs layer shes having a full-blown wedding n no one knows she's already married.
That's not why im hurt or mad. Definitely raised a eyebrow but not the reason im here. 
So her wedding is in like a little over a month. She wanted me to me a bridesmaids. I agreed. Im happy for her.
The past 2 yrs have been horrible, I had abad relapse and I know she has feeling but she will not talk and I figured that's fine..when she's ready. I've kept everything away from her family and her because..well I love them and I wasn't doing well and didn't want to burden or hurt her family with my stupid addiction. I've been clean from fent for 2 mos. I get it not long but I carry enough hate for myself because of it. She didn't have to treat me like a POS. 
I didn't have a job when she told me i was a bridesmaids. I've felt something just wrong in our relationship..4mos ago she made plans with my daughter (who's 8) and then completely ghosted her/diched her. Like plans to sleepover and go play with the cousins. She wouldn't even txt back the day she was supposed to pick her up but we saw pics where she had went on with her plans. My daughter was very hurt. She's cried. 
So I sent her a message 2mos ago, told her I didn't want to be a financial burden on her and that until I get a job I might have to step back from being bridesmaids. She told me something (ill post the messages) how may we can figure it out and that she would get back to me

A good while passes and she hasn't said anything. They had planned to get nails done, go to a nice restaurant,  we had to buy all our own dresses and she had instructed everyone she wanted us to buy "elf like jewlery" and I dint want her to foot the bill for me. Im ashamed of that. 

I got a job a week ago after 3 interviews I got a full-time job at Wendy's! I went and messaged her thay I had got this job and could pay my side.

Mind tou I had been messaging her updates for a long time and she wouldn't even look at my messages. So I txt n txt and finally I go to the bridesmaid group that she's active in and message her begging her to look at my messages. 

She sent me the messages im posting with this post. 

Im really hurt. It felt like a punch in the stomach. And maybe you could say well she doesnt want to be around me addicts sister. Maybe she doesnt want thay in her life...well one of her other bridesmaid is an addict and tried to fuck her baby daddy! Her husband she's marrying best friend can't be in the wedding because he's in prison! THEY SELL WEED THEMSELVES! I get it..its just weed but if this is a moral trip on me...I don't understand

I cried. She told me I can "direct guess to their seats if I wanted to"

Am I over reacting? What do yall thing...I need help with this. I don't want to go at all anymore..I wouldn't feel right anymore. She makes me feel like I should put a paper bag over my head if I go. 

I was also telling her our grandma who adopted us and kept us out the foster care system died and she was very cold. I know they had a rough relationship when she was a teenager

She is a 32yr old woman and I am 35. . 

AIO? My sister ...